What is Blame?

With Freedom Comes Responsibility
Where is the blame in this scenario?  Last week you took care of the family laundry.  This week your sibling is responsible. You took care of the laundry quite well last week. This morning you woke up to find that there were no clean socks, and your carpool will pick you up shortly.  You are supposed to be dressed in your team’s uniform. You will stand-out because you’re not in uniform. Who’s to blame? Parent, sibling, coach, yourself?

You are responsible to dress yourself in the uniform. Your sibling’s responsibility was to do the laundry. While the laundry was not done in a timely manner for YOUR benefit is not the point.  You are responsible for YOUR uniform which means you may need to take care of your own laundry the night before and leave your sibling’s laundry responsibilities between them and your parents.

There are many factors that come into play when examining responsibilities and boundaries such as time, abilities, permissions granted by those in authority, to name a few. The bottom line is, we are responsible for ourselves, our things, our words, and our actions.

As another example, you may have planned to go get your driver’s license renewed the day before it expires. When you show up early to the department of transportation, you discover they are closed for the day, or for the holidays, etc. It is still YOUR responsibility to have renewed your license. Therefore, if you drive, you would be driving illegally without a valid license and you cannot justify your lack of license to the officer. It is best to plan ahead.

Important components of learning to be relational are learning about responsibilities, boundaries, and effective communication. The above common scenarios highlight opportunities for growth on all these points.

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the heart.  (Proverbs 21:2 ESV)

People may be right in their own eyes, but the LORD examines their heart.  (Proverbs 21:2 NLT)

And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?  How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?  Hypocrite!  First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.  (Matthew 7: 3-5 NLT)

Today’s Challenge:
There will be many times when things happen because of no fault of yours.  When such occurs, resist the temptation to point a finger. Instead, consider other responses, such as:

• Look for an alternate solution and share it.
• Relate to the person who made a mistake and encourage them by sharing your similar error and your solution.
• Look for the lesson you can learn and learn it for the next challenge; encourage others to do the same.

Today’s Prayer:
Heavenly Father, help me to be responsible for my part in any error.  Help me to encourage others, instead of blaming them, when they falter. Help me to clearly see my responsibilities and not blame others when I falter. Help me grow to be more like You.  In Jesus’ holy name, Amen!

Digging deeper blogs augment lessons from My Leadership Compass: A Christ-Centered High School Curriculum. © 2021